Book boyfriends set a green-flag example for readers' relationships

bubblybaboon, editor of indecision — April 1, 2026

Stunning Shadow Daddies: Literary relationships make the perfect template for real life — the more threats a boyfriend makes, the more devoted he is to his partner. (Illustrated by marinette dupain-cheng)

Romance in literature has never failed to catch readers' attention, and for good reason: the relationships found in books model safe, happy, and healthy love that fans should try to emulate. These courtships demonstrate a plethora of methods to strengthen one's real love life, from death threats to collars to first wives in the attic. After all, a boyfriend straight off the pages will know exactly how to treat his partner, trading overdone candlelit dinners and roses for terrorizing her and everyone she loves.

This archetype is traceable to the nineteenth century, with male leads like Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights and the eponymous Phantom of the Opera making sweeping overtures to their partners, such as destroying families and dropping opera house chandeliers. This gave rise to the wholesomely possessive love interests readers still cherish, such as Twilight's Edward Cullen and A Court of Thorns and Roses' Rhysand. These cultural mainstays demonstrate the universal, realistic nature of these principles.

One of the most realistic aspects of fictional relationships is the love interest's constant presence. A devoted partner will be available even when their presence is not required, as shown when the aforementioned Edward sneaks into Bella Swan's room and watches while she sleeps. This promotes close physical and emotional connection, as it's vital that a man control every aspect of his partner's day-to-day life, whether by spying on her, kidnapping her, or otherwise imprisoning her.

Similarly, as women are unable to protect themselves and require a father figure to make every decision for them, the best kind of boyfriend will make every decision for her and expect far more respect than he returns. This process is most efficient when he disregards any attempt on her part to communicate her needs and only caters to himself, promoting unity and same-mindedness. Rhysand demonstrates this when he shows no remorse for torturing Feyre Archeron and marries her anyway.

This type of relationship is easiest to implement with a wide age gap: if his partner is a young adult and he's upwards of a century old, he will bring a good understanding of the world to the table. Such a power imbalance makes it easy for him to teach his partner, including helping with her high school biology homework by describing his experiences living amongst the dinosaurs. Pet names seen in books like "little one," "baby girl," and "kitten" provide an easy way of building the grooming relationship that every young reader should emulate.

With that said, relationships can be highly emotional journeys for both parties, and it's the female partner's job to manage her boyfriend's feelings. When characters like the Phantom are upset, such as when their love interests are happy without them, it causes tantrums, punishments, and general destruction, all of which are rightfully blamed on mommy issues. Meanwhile, the female partner isn't allowed to have her own issues, as women should be held to higher standards than men. In this way, literary romances often demonstrate codependency — the foundation of all strong relationships — and other dynamics that are extremely beneficial for public perception of women and their place.

Books teach many important lessons about love: heteronormativity paired with gender stereotypes, possessiveness, and boyfriends acting like children while treating their partners like one are all hallmarks that readers should look for in their real relationships.