Kindergarteners: Crazy good in the factory

temufactory, Staff Writer — April 1, 2026

Labor, Laugh, Love: Local eight-year-old Amy Stake gets forklift-certified, gains 9000 hours of work experience. (Collage by temufactory)

As college admissions increasingly resemble dating apps through harsh selection standards, students must find a new way to bolster their applications. However, students encounter a roadblock when trying to gain work experience. Pesky federal regulations prohibit manufacturing and hazardous jobs available for minors, along with the amount of hours. The federal child labor provisions (1938) should be revoked because the act restricts student opportunities; without it, students can leverage work experience, gain fitness, and bond with their family.

Currently, the act keeps minors in safe workplaces and limits their hours to promote education. However, the current job market shows that fresh applicants must have several years of work experience to apply for a competitive, entry-level position. For the typical student, this is a problem since working 18 hours a week should be extended to 150 hours per week to show long-term, intense dedication on their applications.

With recesses and one-hour lunch breaks, students feel like their time isn't valued. Take for instance kindergarteners — why build tiny sand castles at recess when they could build real houses? Every second breathing is a second wasted nowadays. Furthermore, as kindergarteners haul bags of concrete and pallets of bricks like oversized legos, they gain fitness: a crucial aspect missing from many children (including myself).

As time becomes less and less of a commodity with doomscrolling, fitness becomes the heart of intellectual and financial success. Colleges love students who show determination in APs and sports, so why not replace sports with a construction job that earns income on the side? Instead of going all the way to the gym, students have 80 lb. bags of concrete just lying around. Although volleyball and basketball provide fitness and bolster applications, jobs provide another thing — money.

While inflation pushes prices higher and higher, families with children are forced to compromise family time with making money; but when children can work, it lets families diversify income streams. Why offer reasonable wages to parents when their children can work too? That way, families are incentivized to involve children. Now "bring your kid to work day" becomes "bring your kid to work everyday," transforming labor into a shared moment of family bonding in the coal mine.

Although critics claim that revoking the child labor provisions would turn students into workers, it is clear that children with jobs are guaranteed success by becoming the perfect worker. Why strive to become a CEO when much easier, steadier jobs at McDonald's are available? By adopting the "always-say-yes-to-my-boss" mindset early-on, students are guaranteed to secure their position, proving their value. In a country so obsessed with individuality, the only realistic path to success is by never standing up for oneself and always staying true to the societal norms: becoming the perfect worker.

The federal child labor provisions are the only thing standing between students and their success. Without them, parents can bond with their children while their children gain experience. Instead of "hands-on parenting" that excessively cares for trivial matters like child safety, parents should embrace the "Labor, Laugh, Love" mindset and support their children's involvement in the labor field. Ultimately, revoking the child labor provisions grants power and freedom to the weakest but most prospective in our society. Who would want to mess with an eight-year old who drives a forklift?