How 2 Ethically Homewreck

misandryisgreat and giggity — April 1, 2026

Relationshipmaxxing: Push the other person out of the picture and win over your soulmate with your (mostly) pure heart.(Illustration by giggity)

Are you falling in love with someone who already has a partner? Feel like doing something for the plot and breaking them up? Wondering what's stopping you from pursuing your soulmate if they're with the wrong person? Then your new side quest is to ethically homewreck their "relationship" so you can have your happily ever after with them! As wise philosopher Alanhar Yarka once said, "just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't shoot your shot."

Take up their schedule It's time to hangout with them 24/7 so they can't hang out with their partner. The best relationships are built from spending time together and building a consistent routine out of it, so free up your schedule and plan numerous hangouts with your soulmate. If they're always busy because of "dates" with their "partner" or extracurriculars, go on routine study dates — in secret — with them at cute, romantic cafes.

Convert them into an ihatemybf Real change comes from your innermost hater. Don't waste your energy trying to manipulate your soulmate, have others do it for you. Make all of their friends hate their partner by stalking their social media accounts and finding their red flags. If their partner is a man, make their friends misandrists by complaining about all the men ruining your life, there's got to be at least one. Otherwise, ihatemygf doesn't exist, that's just misogynistic.

Pay an Etsy witch to curse their partner When you're not with them, do rituals to pray on the downfall of their partner. From voodoo dolls and tarot cards to delusional Reddit forums, your options for rewriting fate are endless. But don't just settle on writing down your manifestations, guarantee results through pure witchcraft. Curses are the most affordable and effective form of manifestation, with an unbroken track record dating back to the medieval ages. Being ethical means supporting small businesses as well!

If you can't beat them, join them Is your soulmate not budging because they're in a "loving relationship" with their partner? Instead of ethically homewrecking, it's time to join the pair. Monogamy is overrated and you just want the best for your soulmate. Crash the party and join your soulmate and their "partner" to become a throuple so you can live your best life with your true love and the "other one". The more, the merrier!

Your love will conquer all. Murder is illegal, but a (non)-malicious orchestrated breakup isn't. You're madly in love, not a monster! Follow your inner Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater and you'll be locked in by February. What year? That's for you to decide!


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