Introducing Oxford's newest teacher, Ms. Andry

r_v_deaduzz, Staff Writer — April 22, 2025

(Collage by r_v_deaduzz)

Over the past 4 years, female students and staff members have noticed that Oxford Academy has been plagued by unchecked masculinity. With the school's male student population growing obnoxiously overconfident, overpowering certain pathways and classes, and endlessly complaining about "how men suffer in silence", there was a dire need to hire a new teacher who could keep them all in check. Last month, Principal Ember Howston made an executive decision to hire Ms. Andry, an English teacher with a PhD in "Mansplaining Studies" and infamous for her research on the detrimental impacts of manspreading on society.

Ms. Andry's hate for men wasn't just born; it was forged in the fires of everyday inconveniences she faced throughout her life.

In a Damut exclusive interview, Ms. Andry revealed some of her most radicalizing experiences.

"One time a male tried to mansplain what mansplaining was to me, and then argued how misandry is a huge problem," she said.

Such experiences have led Ms. Andry to despise men vehemently. She hopes to utilize the unique teaching preferences and skills she's built up throughout her education to dial down the toxic masculinity at Oxford.

"Participation points are a huge deal in my class. It's around 40% of the final grade. The men in class get points removed for speaking," said Ms. Andry.

Additionally, the curriculum letter for her classes states that the highest score that a male in the class can receive on a test, regardless of performance, is 50%. Male students must also write analytical and research-heavy papers on various topics in preparation for AP English Language and Composition next year. Some of which include how female figures have influenced their lives, why females are the superior gender, why there should be a tax on men's items, and why women's menstrual products should be free.

To expand her male students' sphere of practical knowledge, Ms. Andry assigns readings of Sylvia Plath and other historically feminist books. She also imposes strict rules docking grades for boys who discuss any male figures that aren't hyper-feminists. Approved exceptions include Ryan Gosling, Harry Styles, and Mark Ruffalo. However, if the male students mention Andrew Tate or any other alpha-male podcasters, they get put into the jail in the portables.

"I think it's only fair. Women do so much — the least the boys in this class can do is read and write about it," said Ms. Andry.

On a survey completed by 237 Oxford students, 88% of men rated her class a 1, 1 being the worst class they've ever attended and 5 being the best, while 98% of women rated the class a 5.

Ms. Andry also has been receiving lots of heated feedback from other teachers.

"I wanted to quit my job after speaking to Ms. Andry. I don't think she's good for Oxford Academy," said Mr. Patrick Archy.

"Ms. Andry? I'm surprised that they even allowed her to teach here..." said Ms. Ogyny.

Dr. Al Phamale, Mr. Moe Soggy Knee, and Mr. Les Tosterone, voiced similar opinions.

However, one thing is clear — Ms. Andry has a vision for Oxford, which includes no more males in the engineering pathway and that all history classes should be renamed "Herstory", and she won't rest until these items are accomplished on her agenda.

Ms. Andry lives by the motto, "I don't hate men, I just don't think they're necessary" and, "If men suffer in silence, then why do I always hear about it?".