Senior Features: Influencers

courtjester and Evenhewasweirdedtheheckout — April 1, 2026

Sponsored Segment: What's your GPA? What's your GPA? Meet the influencers dominating the campus (digitally). (Collage by courtjester)

Some Oxford seniors brave part-time jobs, rigorous class schedules, and passion projects. But the most high-achieving students run social media accounts after school; if you think it's so easy, try being an influencer for a day. This month, The Damut is spotlighting our very own Patriot influencers!

The One Who Thirst Traps:
How did your friends react when you first started posting? "I didn't really have any to react to them. That's why I had to resort to buying views! Do you think it's suspicious how many views I get? Eventually, my videos just started showing up on my classmates' FYPs, so now they're forced to react."

What does your girlfriend think of your videos?
"Who?"

The One Who Steals Content:
Does it make you sad that both you and Thing 1 make the exact same brainrot content yet Thing 1 averages 20k views per video and you're at 500? "At first it did! It was really tense between us when we'd see each other in the quad; it was getting a little heated. But, now it's just a friendly rivalry. Honestly, we're more like one-sided business partners now."

The One Who Clip Farms:
Are you worried about digital footprints for your career and colleges? "Looking at the current job market, I'm just building experience for what I probably will end up doing, which is a TurboAI internship, or maybe Cluely. I'm hoping my good, personal friend Eric Ou will hook me up."

How has being an influencer changed your life?
"Yeah, the salary has really made a big difference. Ever since I got added to the creator fund, I've made about three cents total, so I'm well on my way to getting a new Needoh and taking the boyz out to Japan 2026. No need for ping-pong. All on me."

All:
How successful would you say you are?
"Very."
All three refused to comment further.

Check out these influencers on RedNote when they get crossposted!


Airehwon Unicorn Frappe Smoothie by The Damut
Available for purchase on April 31st.