YE bucks are outdated, crypto is the way

im cringe but im free, The Editor — April 22, 2025

Digital Revolution: Crypto has the potential to save Oxford's failing economy. (Illustrated by I am cringe but I am free)

Since its founding in 1998, Oxford Academy has circulated Youth Entrepreneur (YE) Buck throughout its economy, acting as its main currency. Started by Ms. Rane's 7th-grade entrepreneurship class, YE bucks have kept the world spinning — paying teachers' salaries and funding boba fundraisers.

In recent years, however, a new subset of currency has pioneered the US economy toward a future where all money is just made up. Cryptocurrency, the lifeblood of tech bros and Reddit users, has overtaken the American dollar in value and usage, sporting a global market cap 200% higher than the dollar. With the U.S. dollar at risk of becoming obsolete to the superior cryptocurrency, Oxford's economy faces a grave threat to its stability. To save OA, YE-coins — Oxford's first crypto coin — must be invested in to revitalize the struggling campus.

Current market projections value the YE Buck to be worth only $0.0002 USD, triggering a chain of rapid inflation and campus-wide pandemonium. The devaluation of the YE Buck has led Oxford administration to cut funding for several of its departments, including downsizing the lunch menu to just ketchup and closing off all student restrooms on campus. If no changes are made to the current economy, experts claim that OA could cease to exist within the next 5 years, wiping out 90% of Cypress' GDP.

Under the collaboration of the business and computer science pathway, YE Coin allows Oxford to enter the digital age of currency, motivating students to embody the new, 6th C: Crypto. Unlike the YE Buck, mismanaged by the Bank of Bronett, YE Coin is freely exchanged in the hands of the people. Recent surveys report that 99% of Oxford's "passion" projects have filed for bankruptcy due to record inflation, with no statement from administration on a plan to address this — leaving students desperate for change. YE Coin presents the only possible path to economic security, breathing new life into these failing ventures by garnering the investment of tech bro Silicon Valley investors.

To accommodate this change to Oxford's current structure, classrooms must be converted into crypto mines. Current curriculum will be transformed so only the essentials are taught, including knowing that green line up good, and red line down bad. Students forgo pointless career preparation in favor of making 6 figures by the time they graduate by building a diverse portfolio of meme coins.

This system won't be without its challenges; 2024's failure of the Danbee Buck underlined OA's unwillingness to adapt to a new form of currency. However, this rigid mindset is the root of Oxford's current deteriorating economy. Introducing cryptocurrency does not completely overhaul Oxford's economy; it expands it.

Improving quality of life by 500%, funding college tuitions, or even adding a third floor to the 200 building, YE Coin has the potential to revolutionize OA — not only making Oxford the #1 high school in California again, but a global economic superpower. To save Oxford's future, crypto is not a suggestion, but a necessity.